My brilliant, talented and awesome friend Tina Whittle has created the 12 Days of Wicked Little Secrets on her wonderful blog The Fiction Files. We are singing along until Wicked Little Secrets‘ release day on December, 3rd. Tina has kindly allowed me to repost her song. Enjoy!
On the ninth day of Wicked Little Secrets, my true love gave to me . . .
Nine Randy Grandpas!
Eight Desperate Pug Dogs!
Seven French Letters!
Six Pipes of Opium!
Five Scheming Courtesans!
Four Perverted Diaries!
Three Cracking Whips!
Two Heaving Bosoms!
and A Spitefully Shattered Grecian Antiquity!
“I heard from the boys that you’re leaving for China,” the earl yelled. He wore a high-collared coat, padded so as to restore his chest and shoulders to their approximate build of forty years ago, and tight trousers on his thinning legs. His hair flowed as wild as his addled mind. “Now, the boys and I have been discussing your problems. They believe that what is wrong with you is that you keep running away. That you think you’re going to find happiness in some old thing in the sand. What else did we say… oh yes… that you refuse to grow up.”
The “boys” were a bunch of graying men who, along with his grandfather, had been terrorizing the clubs and gaming hells of Mayfair for the last forty years.
“I would appreciate it if you would not discuss my so-called problems with your friends,” he said, trying not choke on the earl’s powerful cologne. “And I’m glad to see you finally got dressed.”
“You’re a fine one to speak. Vivienne came over here yesterday, and you’re wandering about with your trousers loose and no shirt. Now what kind of impression is that going to make?”
“Funny, if you hadn’t had your piece hanging out, she wouldn’t have come over at all! You should apologize.”
“Apologize? Last time I darkened Gertrude’s door on account of those actresses getting our addresses confused, she hit me with her cane. I found it a bit exciting, I must say.”