{"id":2108,"date":"2012-06-21T20:33:39","date_gmt":"2012-06-22T03:33:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/susannaives.com\/wordpress\/?p=2108"},"modified":"2021-04-21T11:18:54","modified_gmt":"2021-04-21T15:18:54","slug":"victorian-lessons-how-to-flirt-with-gloves-the-importance-of-ring-position-and-writing-love-letters-that-get-you-married-or-not","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/susannaives.com\/wordpress\/2012\/06\/victorian-lessons-how-to-flirt-with-gloves-the-importance-of-ring-position-and-writing-love-letters-that-get-you-married-or-not\/","title":{"rendered":"Victorian Lessons: How to Flirt with Gloves, the Importance of Ring Position, and Writing Love Letters that Get You Married (or not)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Good heavens, it has been months since I last visited The<\/em> Mystery of Love, Courtship and<\/em>\u00a0<\/em>Marriage<\/em>\u00a0<\/em>Explained\u00a0<\/em>by Henry J Wehman, published in 1890.\u00a0 How my heart has missed its missives of love and longing. Tonight, I learned why I had so much trouble getting dates in my early 20s. It seems I was wearing my ring the wrong finger! I was telegraphing to men of wealth and station my intention to die unmarried. \u00a0Not only that, I was constantly biting the tips of my gloves not knowing that I was telling gentlemen to go away. I should been striking my gloves over my shoulder inviting men to follow me.<\/strong><\/p>\n

So, let us learn the proper ways to telegraph love with glove and rings, as well as how to write love letters to strangers, inconstant lovers and heavenly angels that you fell in love with at first sight.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Most of the images in this post come from Cassell’s Family Magazine<\/a>.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Let’s get started…<\/strong>.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Love\u2019s Telegraph<\/p>\n

If a gentleman wants a wife, he wears a ring on the first finger of the left hand; if he is engaged, he wears it on the second finger; if married, on the third; and on the fourth if he never intends to be married. When a lady is not engaged, she wears a hoop or diamond on her first finger; if engaged, on the second; if married, on the third and on the fourth if she intends to die unmarried. When a gentleman presents a fan, flower, or trinket to a lady with the left hand, this on his part is an overture of regard; should she receive it with the left hand, it is considered as an acceptance of his esteem; but if with the right hand, it is a refusal of the offer. Thus, by a few simple tokens explained by rule, the passion of love is expressed and through the medium of the telegraph, the most timid and diffident man may, without difficulty, communicate his sentiments of regard to a lady, and, in case his offer should be refused, avoid experiencing the mortification of an explicit refusal.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Letter to a young lady after seeing her in a store:<\/p>\n

Madam:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0You will perhaps think it extraordinary that a young man should take the liberty of addressing you without even the formality of a previous introduction. I have to apologize, therefore, and I hope that you will at least forgive me if you cannot confer the favor which I would ask. \u00a0I have so far seen only through the window of ——\u2018s store, bit cannot explain to you how great a desire I feel that I should enjoy the very great pleasure of your acquaintance. I might perhaps obtain this, if you allowed me to do so, by means of some mutual friend, but I know of none. There is no alternative for me but a direct request, and I thought it more respectful to make it by letter. It would at this moment, be impertinent to allude further to the great admiration which I have for you, in begging you to give me an opportunity of introducing myself, and I must add of satisfying you of my respectability. I feel that I have already run the risk of causing you annoyance. To have done so would have been a source of deep regret.\u00a0 I trust that you will be so kind as to give me even the slightest intimation of your wishes, and you may depend upon my intruding no further without your permission.<\/em><\/p>\n

Respectfully,<\/em><\/p>\n

HERBERT WHITE<\/em><\/p>\n

Her reply<\/p>\n

Sir:<\/em><\/p>\n

Your note has very much surprised me. You are so entirely unknown to me that cannot guess what my correspondent\u2019s appearance even may be. Under these circumstances I must decline saying more than that I can neither refuse nor comply with your request. I think indeed that I ought at once to refuse it.<\/em><\/p>\n

ROSE<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

From a lady to an inconstant lover:<\/p>\n

Dear C—-:<\/em><\/p>\n

It is with great reluctance that I enter upon a subject which has given me great pain, and upon which silence has become impossible if I would preserve my self-respect. You cannot but be aware that I have just reason for saying that you have much displeased me. You have apparently forgotten what is due to me, circumstanced as we are, thus far at least.\u00a0 You cannot suppose that I can tamely see you disregard my feelings, by conduct toward other ladies from which I should naturally have the right to expect \u00a0you to abstain. I am not so vulgar a person as to be jealous.\u00a0 When there is cause to infer changed feelings, or unfaithfulness to promises of constancy, jealousy is not the remedy. What the remedy is I need not say \u2013 we both of us have it in our own hands. I am sure you will agree with me that we must come to some understanding by which the future shall be governed. Neither you nor I can bear a divided allegiance.\u00a0 Believe me that I write more in sorrow than in anger. You have made me very unhappy, and perhaps thoughtlessly. But it will take much to reassure me of your unaltered regard<\/em><\/p>\n

Yours truly<\/em><\/p>\n

EMMA<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Love at First Sight:<\/p>\n

To Miss Rose Terry:<\/em><\/p>\n

It is but a few short months since we met, and yet in that time I have come to regard you more in the light of a heavenly angel than an earthly mortal, and in thee, dearest, I have found the ideal I have so long pictured as the woman I could love and cherish for a lifetime. I have neither wealth or station to offer thee, but instead an honest, loyal and lasting love, which you will increase tenfold in brightness and glory if you will accept it. This is sudden \u2013 too sudden, I fear \u2013 but my excuse is the hope of winning a sweet, gracious wife, who alone can make me happy. Write me at the earliest moment, I beseech thee, dearest love, and tell me if I am to be the happiest man in all the world. With feelings of the highest esteem and the deepest, most loyal love, I am thine.<\/em><\/p>\n

JAMES LEON<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

See more posts from\u00a0The Mystery of Love, Courtship and Marriage Explained:<\/strong><\/p>\n

More Victorian Love Letters and the Basics of Postage Stamp Flirtation<\/a><\/p>\n

Valentine\u2019s Day Edition: The Language of Flowers, How to Write a Victorian Love Letter, and Parasol Flirtations<\/a><\/p>\n

How to Write Victorian Love Letters<\/a><\/p>\n

Handkerchief and Fan Flirtations<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Good heavens, it has been months since I last visited The Mystery of Love, Courtship and\u00a0Marriage\u00a0Explained\u00a0by Henry J Wehman, published in 1890.\u00a0 How my heart has missed its missives of love and longing. Tonight, I learned why I had so much trouble getting dates in my early 20s. It seems I was wearing my ring … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Victorian Lessons: How to Flirt with Gloves, the Importance of Ring Position, and Writing Love Letters that Get You Married (or not)”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[411,89,409],"tags":[194,101],"class_list":["post-2108","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love-letters","category-marriage-and-courtship-explained","category-old-fashioned-holiday-celebrations","tag-glove-flirtations","tag-victorian-love-letters"],"yoast_head":"\nVictorian Lessons: How to Flirt with Gloves, the Importance of Ring Position, and Writing Love Letters that Get You Married (or not) - Susanna Ives\u2019 Floating World<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/susannaives.com\/wordpress\/2012\/06\/victorian-lessons-how-to-flirt-with-gloves-the-importance-of-ring-position-and-writing-love-letters-that-get-you-married-or-not\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Victorian Lessons: How to Flirt with Gloves, the Importance of Ring Position, and Writing Love Letters that Get You Married (or not) - Susanna Ives\u2019 Floating World\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Good heavens, it has been months since I last visited The Mystery of Love, Courtship and\u00a0Marriage\u00a0Explained\u00a0by Henry J Wehman, published in 1890.\u00a0 How my heart has missed its missives of love and longing. 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