Fan And Handkerchief Flirtations

Several days ago, I came across The Mystery of Love, Courtship, and Marriage Explained by Henry J. Wehman, published in 1890. This campy how-to book includes guides for “popping” the question, writing love letters, and managing a beau. Let’s learn the arts of handkerchief and fan flirtations. 

Fan Flirtations

Carrying in right hand in front of face — Follow me.
Carrying in left hand — Desirous of an acquaintance.
Placing it on the right ear — You have changed.
Twirling it in left hand — I wish to get rid of you.
Drawing across forehead — We are watched.
Carrying it in right hand — You are too willing.
Drawing through the hand — I hate you.
Twirling in right hand — I love another.
Drawing across the cheek — I love you.
Closing it — I wish to speak to you.
Drawing across the eye — I am sorry.
Letting it rest on right cheek — Yes.
Letting it rest on left cheek — No.
Open and shut — You are cruel.
Dropping — We will be friends.
Fanning slow — I am married.
Fanning fast — I am engaged.
With handle to lips — Kiss me.
Shut — You have changed.
Open wide — Wait for me.

Handkerchief Flirtations

Fans and flowers have each their language, and why not handkerchiefs? No reason having been discovered, it has transpired that handkerchief flirtations are rapidly coming into fashion. As the ” code of signals” is confined to a select few, but we do not intend that they shall enjoy the monopoly any longer, and accordingly publish the key.

It may be used at the opera, theatre, balls, and such places, but never in church; and we hope that this restriction will be observed, and are quite sure that it won’t.

Drawing across the lips — Desirous of an acquaintance.
Drawing across the eyes — I am sorry.
Taking it by the centre — You are too willing.
Dropping — We will be friends.
Twirling in both hands — Indifference.
Drawing it across the cheek — I love you.
Drawing it through the hands — I hate you.
Letting it rest on the right cheek — Yes.
Letting it rest on the left cheek — No.
Twirling it in the left hand — I wish to speak to you.
Twirling it in the right hand — I love another.
Folding it — I wish to speak with you.
Drawing it across the forehead — We are watched.
Over the shoulder — Follow me.
Opposite corners in both hands — Wait for me.
Placing it on the right ear — You have changed.
Letting it remain on the eyes — You are cruel.
Winding around the forefinger — I am engaged.
Winding around the third finger — I’m married.
Putting it in the pocket — No more at present.

Harper, Alvan S. Woman in striped dress holding handkerchief. 1890 (circa). State Archives of Florida.

11 Replies to “Fan And Handkerchief Flirtations”

  1. Love the ads.
    The code of the handkerchief is pretty much the same as the old code of the fan. Fans had become passee so ladies turned to the handkerchief as a prop for flirtation.
    Great posts.
    Nancy

  2. oops . didn’t see the fan instructions before.
    My aunt had a Victrola that looked just like the one in the ad . She would bring it out onto the porch and we would play the records on hot summer evenings and watch the lightning bugs dance to the tunes. It was many years after the ads, I hasten to say.

  3. @Nancy,

    Wow. What you describe is a lovely image. Those old Southern porches…love them! I have my aunt’s Victrola in my dining room. We love to play the old warbly records. Such a neat sound…

  4. It’s a bit like baseball code for C19 Romance. Tricky too if you remembered it incorrectly.

  5. I would have been an abject failure at this — I would have gotten my left and right mixed up, my north and south too, and propositioned the pastor or something. And since I don’t see a gesture for “didn’t mean it — do over!” I would have been sunk in scandal almost immediately.

I would love to hear your thoughts!

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