Such lovely spring weather! It makes you want to jump into your low phaeton and dash down to the Park to see your friends. Or pick up your bestie in the country so you can make calls together.
But wait! Is your bestie married or not? This makes a tremendous difference. Where shall she sit in the carriage? Who gets out first? This is all so vexingly confusing!
Do not distress yourself, dear reader. Lady Constance Howard has the answers in her volume Etiquette: What To Do, and How To Do It.
It is very much the fashion for ladies to drive themselves, in London, as well as in the country; and those who are good ‘whips,’ generally prefer this way of taking the air, to walking or riding.
Low phætons and pony carriages are the usual carriages; and they always take a groom to stand at the horse or horses’ heads when they stop at a shop, or pull up in Rotten Row for a chat with those of their friends and acquaintances who may be walking or riding.
The groom would be in livery, and he would be provided with a waterproof coat for wet weather, also with a greatcoat.
Good horses and a carriage perfectly turned out are absolute necessities to those ladies who elect to drive themselves, whether in London, the country, or the seaside; and a groom would always accompany them, whether any gentlemen were with them or not.
The fashionable hour for driving in London during the season is four-thirty to six-thirty or seven o’clock. It is generally too hot to drive earlier.
In the winter, from two-thirty to five or five-thirty, as it gets dark so soon then.
When ladies drive themselves in London, they generally choose the morning; from twelve to two or two-thirty is the best and most agreeable time; after that the streets get too crowded to make driving a pleasant occupation.
If a hostess had guests staying with her, they would always get into the carriage before their hostess. Whether driving in an open or shut carriage, the lady of the house always sits with her face to the horses, unless she is accompanied by three other people, and knows that one cannot sit with her back to the horses, when, as an act of courtesy, the hostess would give up her place.
She would do the same in the case of a gentlemen, though etiquette would not demand it; but no hostess would like to know that one of those receiving her hospitality was enduring a feeling of misery and illness.
If two guests were present, one married, one unmarried, the young lady would take her place with her back to the horses-etiquette requires that she should do so. By this means the two married ladies face the horses.
If both guests were sisters and unmarried, the eldest should sit by the hostess.
If a lady were driving with her daughter, whether married or unmarried, and a third lady was of the party, the daughter would give up her place to her as an act of courtesy, even though her rank might be higher than the guest’s, as she would be, so to say, ‘at home’ in her mother’s carriage, and would therefore waive her precedence if she had any.
Gentlemen would step out of the carriage first, whether an open or shut one, whether they intended to resume their seats in it or not, so that they might be ready to help the ladies to alight; and they would also help them to get into the carriage.
Gentlemen always sit with their back to the horses, unless no other lady but one is present, then they would take their place by the lady’s side. If two or more ladies were present, then the gentleman would take his seat with his back to the horses.
This applies in cases of brothers and sisters driving together. If three sons were driving with their mother or sister, the eldest son would take his place next to the lady.
In a case of father, mother, two daughters, two sons, or a daughter and son, going to a ball, the father and mother face the horses, with their sons, daughters, or son and daughter opposite. In the case of a niece or sister-in-law, the host would give her his place and sit opposite.
A lady, when calling upon an acquaintance or friend for the purpose of taking her for a drive, would not alight to let the lady get into the carriage first, but she would keep her place, and the lady would take her place by her, shaking hands with her friend as she did so, and also shaking hands or bowing to any other occupant of the carriage, if she were acquainted with them.
If she were not, her friend would immediately present her to the other lady or gentleman.
Generally the guest alights from the carriage first; but should she be on the wrong side, or any other reason, the hostess would get out first, making some civil remark to her guest for descending before instead of after her.
If a lady is driving herself and is accompanied by a friend, she usually drives her to make any calls, leave any cards, or execute any shopping she may desire.
When ladies drive in the Park together, whether in the morning or evening, whether they drive themselves or are driven, it is etiquette that, if the carriage takes up a position by the rails, so that people can talk to their friends, and a gentleman or gentlemen come up and talk to the hostess, with whom her guest is unacquainted, that the hostess should introduce them to her, unless there is any special reason against it, as it would be most discourteous for a hostess to talk to her friends without bringing the lady driving with her into the conversation.
It is very bad taste to talk to a lady or gentleman with whom you are acquainted sitting the other side of a lady or gentleman with whom you are not acquainted.
Ladies are generally attended by a groom when they ride in London, also when they go out hunting, except they are exceptionally able to take care of themselves; but it always looks better to have a groom.
Ladies seldom take a groom when they are only going out for a country ride.
A gentleman naturally rides on the off or right-hand side of the lady with whom he is riding, just the same as when she takes his arm out walking.
