The Victorian Language of Flowers, How to Write a Victorian Love Letter, and Parasol Flirtations

Language of Flowers

Once again, I am excerpting from what is becoming my favorite campy antique book, The Mystery of Love, Courtship and Marriage Explained, 1890.

The Language Of Flowers

Arbor Vitæ — Unchanging friendship.
Apple Blossom — My preference.
Alyssum — Worth above beauty.
Aspen Tree — Sorrow.
Blue Canterbury Bell — Fidelity.
China Pink — Hate.
Coreopsis — Love at first sight.
Dead Leaves — Heavy heart.
Forget-me-not — True love.
Geranium — Lost hope.
Hazel – Let us bury the hatchet.
Hawthorn — Hope.
Heliotrope — You are loved.
Ivy — Friendship.
Lily Of The Valley — Happy again.
Linden Tree — Marriage.
Marigold — I am jealous.
Myrtle — Unalloyed affection.
Pansy —Think of me.
Pea — Meet me by moonlight.
Peach Blossom — My heart is thine.
Phlox — Our souls are united.
Pink, red — Woman’s love.
Rose — Perfect beauty.
Rose-Bud — My heart knows no love.
Rose Geranium — You are preferred.
Sweet William — Let this be our last.
Tulip — Declare your love.
Wallflower — You will find me true.
Yellow Lily — You are a coquette.

*For a more comprehensive list, see The Language of Flowers by Kate Greenaway.

More Victorian Love Letters

From a young man to a young lady whom he has known some time.

To Miss Maggie Holmes,

Dear Maggie:- When I began to love you I did not know what ills I was preparing for myself. The fear of hopeless passion has at times depressed me with despair, and yet the object of my adoration is such an inestimable prize that all the energy of my being forces me to strive for it. Since I first met you the world has changed its aspect. Some secret charm enlivens every object; all nature seems animated with the genial warmth of love. Your beautiful image is always before me; neither time nor place can deprive me of it, and it appears still more enchanting with each recurring vision. I wait with impatience the happy moment when I can see you again. You are surrounded by your family and friends, who adore you. You are the ornament of society and the admired representative of a nation. Alas! I have so little to offer in exchange for all these. But you are essential to my happiness, and if you will accept my love and become my wife I shall be inspired with new hopes and endeavors. It shall be the chief effort of my life to make you happy. Sincerely, H. Edward Charles

Favorable Reply to the Foregoing

To H. Edward Charles: Your kind and manly letter opens my eye to the fact that what I believed to be only a warm friendship is a stronger feeling. I see that it would be a pain to me to lose your visits and presence, and that such love as you promise your wife would make me very happy. You see that I answer you frankly, deeming it wrong to trifle with such an affection as you offer to me.  

I have shown your letter to my parents, and they desire me to say that they will be pleased to have you call this evening to see them. With kindest regards, I am,

Ever yours truly,

Maggie Holmes

Parasol Flirtations

Carrying elevated in left hand — Desiring acquaintance.
Carrying elevated in right hand —  You are too willing.  
Carrying closed in left hand — Meet on the first crossing.
Carrying closed in right hand, by your side  — Follow me.
Swinging to and fro by the handle on left side  — Engaged.
Swinging to and fro by the handle on right side  — Married.
Striking it on the hand — I am very much displeased.
Tapping the chin gently — I am in love with another.
Using it as a fan —  Introduce me to your company.
Twirling it around  — Be careful! We are watched.
Carrying over right shoulder  — You can speak to me.
Carrying over left shoulder. — You are too cruel.
Carrying in front of you  — No more at present.
Closing it up — I wish to speak to you, love.
Folding up  — Get rid of your company.
Letting it rest on right cheek  — Yes.
Letting it rest on left cheek  — No.
With handle to lips  — Kiss me.
End of tips to lips  — Do you love me?
Dropping it  — I love you.

My Traditional Scandinavian Christmas

By Susanna Ives

The following was written with the help of my Scandinavian in-laws. I can’t vouch for the historical accuracy of the information, but it makes for a great story.

The Scandinavian Christmas celebration starts on the first Sunday of advent. Back in the old country, the nights are long and the days are dark this time of year. Children spent their evenings making Christmas tree decorations out of paper. We bought our decorations at IKEA, but here is a star my husband made back when he was a young sprout.

IKEA also supplied our traditional Julbock or Yule Goat. The straw Yule goat dates back to times when a goat was slaughtered during the pagan Yule festival. Here is our pagan Julbock.

My husband feels I should include this link about the giant Julbocken i Gävle in Sweden.

Without fail, every December 13th, my husband and I forget Santa Lucia day. Santa Lucia is a Sicilian saint. Above is a picture of a Santa Lucia’s statue that my in-laws photographed during their trip to Sicily. The Scandinavians became acquainted with her when the Normans (men of the north) occupied Sicily. Santa Lucia is associated with light during the dark wintertime.

On the morning of the 13th, the eldest daughter of the house puts a wreath of candles on her head and serves coffee and Lucia buns to her family. Below is a Santa Lucia bun made by my Danish mother-in-law.

My mother-in-law tells me Santa Lucia is a Swedish and Norwegian tradition, and she only observes the day because her husband is Swedish. However, my mother-in-law bakes delicious Santa Lucia buns and brings them to our house every year to enjoy at Christmas. She also makes traditional Danish Christmas cookies: ginger snaps, vanilla rings and almond cookies. Very tasty.

The next big day in the Christmas celebration is Lillejuleaften which means the evening before Christmas Eve. On this day, the grownups would cut down the Christmas tree, bring it inside, and decorate the branches with candles, glass bulbs, and the children’s paper decorations. In olden times, the children weren’t supposed to see the tree until Christmas Eve, however, now decorating the tree includes the entire family.

Typically, we have the tree set up before Lillejuleaften so we can concentrate on the smorgasbord. We have to shop at farmer’s markets, IKEA, and specialty grocery stores to gather various herrings, Greenland shrimp, smoked salmon, cold cuts, hard rye bread, schnapps, and a variety of cheeses including Fontina, Havarti, Port Salute, blue cheese and others. The sandwiches are open faced so the breads have to be strong enough to support loads of herring, egg, caviar and other yummy things. My father-in-law tells me that the schnapps is drunk for affect, not taste. The strong spirits warms and cheers you, but must be chased with beer, else it will burn your throat. Back in the day, there was formal drinking or open drinking at smorgasbords. Formal drinking means you must drink when the host does. My father-in-law contends this is how the Danes drank the British under the table. He also says that the advantage to formal drinking was no Viking could cut your throat as you drank. There are two sizes of schnapps glasses: large Swedish and small Danish.

At the smorgasbord, the guests make a sandwich with fish and then wait for the host to Skål, a Scandinavian toast for good fortune andhealth. Skål means drinking vessel but my family claims the term actually means drinking out of the skull of your enemy. Then the host welcomes everyone and wishes them happy glaedelig jul.

A proper smorgasbord should take several hours. The last course is coffee. Then the family and friends take a walk in the snow or such and gather a few hours later for a supper of pork loin, potatoes and red cabbage.

In Denmark, you eat a light breakfast and lunch on Christmas Eve or Jule aften because the kitchen is taken up preparing a goose stuffed with prunes and apples soaked in Port. The bird is accompanied by more potatoes and red cabbage. For dessert, you have rice, almond and cream pudding topped with hot cherry syrup. (I have a recipe if anyone is interested.) You must be very careful when you eat this dessert, for it is really a treacherous family game. You see, hidden in the pudding is one whole almond. The lucky family member who gets the almond wins a marzipan pig. In our home, in lieu of such a pig, we give out a chocolate orange.

Meanwhile, across the Kattegat in Sweden, Lutefish is served (or was). This, ummm, delicacy, is cod that has been cut by a carpenter saw and soaked in water and lye for months. Lutefish is tasteless except for the pepper and onion cream sauce and can turn your silver black. My husband gave me a little chemistry lesson on preserving fish. According to him, you have three ways to preserve fish. 1.) pickle it and make sil. 2.) let the fish rot and make surstömming. 3.) freeze dry. To reconstitute the dehydrated fish, you have mix it with lye and water and then wash away the lye.

The Swedes also had veal jelly with vinegar, pickled anchovies including the heads, and potato sausage made with pork, potato, and veal. After the meal was done and the dishes washed, glasses of Cognac were passed around.

In Denmark, the grownups would open the door to the room housing the Christmas tree and let the children see the decorated tree with all the candles burning. Everyone danced around the tree and sang carols. In our house, we light the tree candles, have a fire extinguisher handy, and keep the kids far away from the tree. We don’t keep the candles burning for very long.

If you were Swedish, on Christmas morning you went to church at 5:30 to greet the sun while the Danes slept in. After church, the Swedes opened their gifts, ate ham for dinner and then took a nap. The Danes had another smorgasbord on Christmas and then continued to party for second Christmas day or Anden Juledag.